Marriage season is upon us. Some of you reading are already married while others are about to take steps down the aisle. I encourage each of you reading to remember where you came from as we don’t always know where we will end up. We can make the best of plans but when life happens sometimes we find detours to our plans. Experience has taught me to remember where I came from so I appreciate where God leads me.

Some of you grew up in abusive or broken homes. This is not something anyone wants to remember but your experience can help others as you make your way through life’s journey. You hold the choice of offering what was offered  to you as a child to someone undeserving or offering how you overcame what you experienced to someone struggling with the same struggle. Not everything said or done to us throughout life was fair but we have no right passing our hurt onto others.

When we go into marriage, some of us carry baggage from our past. Depending on what that baggage holds will determine what we can offer our spouse. We can only offer what we hold to give. If we are holding pain and sorrow then unknowingly that is what we will offer and unfortunately  it won’t be interpreted as loving.

People who carry doubts and fears into a marriage will struggle with building communication. While trying to express themselves they may unknowingly be pointing the finger of blame instead of getting their point across in a constructive manner. To the one listening it can feel as if they can do nothing right and are always in the wrong. This is not to say that’s what the person wanted interpreted, but our words are interpreted the way we feel at the moment. This means, if we feel attacked we react defensively. If we feel loved and accepted we tend to pour our heart out without fear of rejection.  In marriage your words must be chosen wisely because sometimes our words take us in the wrong direction , when we think we are on the right road.

We need to be on the road to love at all times.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 reminds us that love is kind, long suffering, it doesn’t envy or boast. It  isn’t rude, self seeking or easily angered. It keeps no record of wrong doings. It delights in truth but never in evil. It protects, trusts, hopes , preserves and never fails.

Don’t be deceived thinking love is simply a feeling. Love is a commitment. It is hard to commit to someone and offer the love described above when our focus is solely on ourselves and what we feel at the moment. Emotions should never be used as your logic because emotions come and go quickly.  Usually it is  something hurtful from our past that triggers them.

If you can  remember who you are during each moment of marriage, then you can better respond to each situation you encounter. For those of you  who know Christ as your personal savior then Romans 8:15 is who you are regardless of where or what you came from.  “For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry , Abba, Father.”      (This means the Holy Spirit places the believer as a child in God’s family. You just became an heir of the Royal family. You are a child of God and heir to all He holds.)

You no longer get to wallow in self- pity over how your life was or what was done to you because now it is your duty to conduct yourself as part of the Royal family.  To represent your Father to a broken world that has lost hope. You need to tell them who  your Father is and how he took you out of bondage and made you an heir to all he holds. Remember, this world is not your home. You belong to the Kingdom of God in Heavenly places. We are simply temporary residents just passing through. 1 Chronicles 29:15.

So as you take those steps down the aisle,  remember your tiara and where it came from. So that  you conduct  yourself with kindness before making the commitment to someone standing in front of you, who also is just passing through. Pass through together, united and predetermined to live for God and not for yourselves. That is the secret to a long and happy marriage.

Blessings,

Robin Worgull

 

 

Those voices in your head are lies. You know better than to think such negative things about yourself. The Devil is using that doubt to prevent you from the opportunities God sends in your direction.  Doubt doesn’t just creep in, you had to give it access to your thoughts. You must remove all doubt and fears in order to help those people God sent to you for encouragement.

It doesn’t matter who doesn’t understand the wisdom you hold, because many of them secretly wait for you to fail. Don’t even think about giving them the satisfaction. You don’t have to listen to the naysayers, just listen to the pressing on your heart.

God saw something in you that others may never see. He placed a gift and a calling on your life to help people He sends your way.  If you keep listening to the toxic voices around you, then you may unknowingly forfeit an opportunity only you were capable of meeting. If it were meant for someone else, then you would know nothing about it. Yet you do, so it belongs to you.

You were blessed with a gift to help those who are emotionally hurting. Those who have lost hope and need encouragement or guidance. The longer you hold onto to something you should be offering is the longer hurting people God sent your way, have to wait for the help He knew you could offer. You can keep trying to convince yourself that someone else is better fit for the position but you know that when God calls someone, He equips them for the job at hand.

You were chosen so quit expecting others to do your work. Take that wisdom and share with anyone that will listen. You don’t have to know who the person is that God sent to you for help, you just have to step out in faith and expect God to work on  the hearts of those sent your way.

You are a prayer warrior,  one who encourages, writer and a representative of Christ. Don’t you remember wasting ten years before you wrote your first book because of doubt? I question how many people you missed the opportunity to help because ten years passed before you did anything.  You knew God called you but you let fear win.

Get out of your own way as God has prepared the way for you. Those voices of lies in your thoughts can’t rent space anymore. It’s time they find a new home. There are opportunities all around you waiting for you to step in and help. It was never about you Robin. You just took the attacks personally. It was always about you fulfilling the purpose for which you were created.  You are unique and there is no one like you.

Get out of your own way…

Love,

Self

Are you the type of person to put up a front when around others? Some people will appear to be a certain way in order to not be seen as who they have become. This front is simply a disguise to hide behind. Many people can get away with hiding behind their front but eventually they are seen for who they truly are by the exposing of their true self. Meaning, eventually they will expose themselves over time. Pride  seems to be the reason for the front they are putting up. Proverbs 16:18 is our reminder that pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. (A haughty spirit is a look at me attitude.)

Did you know, there are people that seek others who are in desperate need of rescuing or fixing? Normally the ones running to their rescue to fix the problems are the ones running from the problems needing to be fixed in themselves. They tend to use other people as a distraction to avoid the need of facing the fixing they need God to do in themselves. This means, they unknowingly hide behind others while claiming to be helping them.  So, instead of facing their own issues they run to  the need of others to hide from their need of being fixed. What happens is they give their all to the ones they are trying to rescue or fix but walk away disappointed because the person no longer has a need  for them, which only has their undealt with issues surfacing that much stronger. Then add the emotional insecurities that come with the rejection faced of the person no longer needing your help. The question to be asked is who is helping who? The person no longer needs your help but you need them to need you.

It becomes a cycle that exhausts and disappoints you quickly. First off, there’s nothing wrong with helping people but to believe you can fix or rescue them is out of your capabilities. Only God can fix someone, it is called healing and deliverance. Not only that, but you can’t rescue someone who doesn’t want to be rescued. What happens is resistance is met and you both take a fall. What remains standing is the pride that was never dealt with.

What many people fail to understand is that until we surrender our brokenness over to God first, we are masking our emotional pain by claiming to help others; but the truth is we think we are helping ourselves by helping them.  That’s why most of us are caught off guard when God begins stripping us of everything that brings us comfort in order to get us to turn our eyes back on Him so He can change us first. See, sometimes we get wrapped up in helping others that we neglect what is going on in our own lives and become distracted to what God’s plan is.

Hiding will only lead to emptiness and us exhausting ourselves to seek approval for something we refuse to surrender. Hiding also is a form of lying to ourselves and others seeking something we were never meant to obtain. Something we selfishly seek but is out of the will of God for us to have. We may be able to convince others by portraying ourselves as something we are not, but God sees all and knows all even the intentions of our hearts. My encouragement is get yourself right with God first before trying to help others get right. You can do this by surrendering your hurts, fears, and disappointments over to the one more qualified than you or I .

Blessings,

Robin Worgull

Some people are going through a difficult time, questioning what the next step is. My encouragement is begin praising the Lord out loud as this confuses the enemy and the strategies he plans to use against you. It also gives breathing room during the wait for direction needed.

There will be times the Lord will allow our lives to be rearranged. Everything will look out of order and wrong through our eyes; but that  is the time the Lord is actually putting our lives in the correct order. Sometimes when we see things that appear wrong we tend to panic within. We pray that the Lord’s will is done but as He begins working in our lives we resist what He is trying to do because it is different than what we anticipated He would do for us. We begin to scramble as quickly as we can to put things back in the order they were so we can return to normal. (Keep in mind, sometimes we learn to function best in toxic environments  because we spent so much time there and grew comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. ) For us to return things back to normal, may not have been the best God had for us to be in.

The Lord doesn’t want our lives to always go in  one direction, as there is no growth in that.  Sometimes He will allow us to feel pain in order to remind us we need him. Other times he may allow us to face hardships, so he can continue giving us strength training. He may allow us to be all alone for a certain time in order too break down our hardened hearts. The Lord wants us to continually grow in him and mirror him. His reflection should be seen in us, which is why He allows us to go through growing pains. Growing pains hurt and last a while regardless how young or old we are.

My encouragement to you is don’t resist what you don’t understand during your growth season. Don’t fight it as it will only last that much longer. The Lord is needing you stronger in a certain area for the job he is leading you too. You were the one chosen to do His work. You haven’t met the person you are intended to meet yet, or accepted the position that hasn’t been offered yet. This is simply your season of strength training. Remember, it is the devil trying to persuade you that your life is falling apart instead of in place.

Blessings,

Robin Worgull