Day: November 7, 2018
Wife, Lock It Down:
Some of you ladies reading seek changes in yourself, your husband and your marriage. 1 John 5:14 is our reminder that if we ask anything according to His will, He will hear us. I encourage you to ask Him to reveal His will to you…
Ladies, as a wife of 24 years and a mother to four, I understand how hard it is to find that sweet balance, between being an attentive wife and loving mother. We often face fears of both titles held. Meaning, feelings of not being a good enough wife or failing as a mother. No matter how hard we try to be attentive or nurturing, there’s always someone unhappy at the end of the day. In my home, someone always expects more than what I can offer.
Many women who are trying to find that sweet balance, are finding themselves in an emotional conflict at the end of the day. They no longer can see the fruits of their labor because the numerous thoughts of doubts and insecurities held are competing for first place. This causes us to become emotionally unstable while trying to care for our family. Our emotions take a front seat while our logic is forced to take the backseat. If we are honest, many of us feel guilty at the end of the day because we question if we neglected our husband or one of the children, in order to meet the overwhelming tasks and demands waiting for us.
Some days, I’m watching the clock countdown so I can have five minutes with my husband just because I’m looking for comfort after giving it out all day. I also seek his logic so I can compare it to my own perspective. A part of me seeks his understanding and approval because I hold none of my own. I don’t feel it on my own because throughout the day the devil used my mind as his playground. He had my thoughts going round and round questioning my womanhood and value. Some days, I find myself praying more often for grace and strength to get through the day. I’m often met with demands that beg of me to throw the towel in but when I throw the towel in, I’m purposely aiming for the washing machine. Giving up is not an option in my thinking, and neither is laying in bed crying over things I can’t change.
Ladies, I have locked it down in my mind, that the battles I face each day will not compromise my walk with Christ. To compromise my walk with Christ, allows the enemy to destroy and divide my family. No, that’s not happening on my watch. I may be knocked down emotionally but I’m getting back up to fight for the family I was blessed with. See, the illusion I held in my thinking before getting married is not the reality I live in after marriage. I never knew I’d be a soldier on the battlefield located in my living room. I never knew my husband could get so hurt or bewildered by something I spoke to him. I never knew you could be lonely in a home with so many people surrounding you. I never knew or thought about money being tight, health issues arising or thought far enough ahead, to consider our beautiful babies would grow and hold serious attitudes in their teens. These thoughts don’t occur until we are faced with the experience itself…
I get it, ladies, we seek to control in a lot of areas in order to keep tension at bay, but our need for control throws us out of control. It can have us yelling at the kids trying to get them to conform to our wishes, or showing contempt to our husbands in a desperate attempt to be heard; but in the end, it will not change the fact that we are trying to get the family under our rule. We keep trying to take authority over the situations we come up against. Someone has too, right?
Ladies, it was never our place to take authority over the family. It was intended for us to position ourselves under God’s rule so His authority was seen in our behavior and our homes. To allow God the control alleviates our need for it. See, if we are not seeking God first, then we just identified the cause of everything going on in our home and our marriage. These are spiritual problems we are encountering then trying to operate in the flesh. Our flesh and spirit are in constant conflict. To put God first in our lives allows Him to address the issues we have been reacting too. ( Unfortunately, most of us react or respond to upset with more upset. Nothing gets resolved, it simply increases tension and creates a rebellious heart in us, as we strive to love and nurture our families. No wonder our emotions speak louder than our logic. They are controlling us and the direction our families are going.)
Mathew 6:33 “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”
Ladies, when our priority is spiritual, God will take care of all the material. Wherever God guides us he will also provide and enable us to complete the job at hand, even if that job is our family. We must lock it down in our thinking that the weight of our family’s needs rests in God’s hands, not ours. We can’t guide our children if we aren’t allowing God to guide us. We can’t win back our husband’s heart if God hasn’t won our heart first. My encouragement to you is lock it down and be predetermined that God will rule you, by positioning yourself under him, which allows his authority to be seen in your family.