Why do we subject ourselves to people we dread being around? The ones who we walk on eggshells to avoid upset; yet later find out we caused it anyways. The ones who put us down while trying to have us believe they were only trying to help. Those who manipulate to get their way, even if it means running you over in the process. Those who have a need to to be heard but refuse to listen. Those who issue advise but refuse to apply it to themselves first. Those who use anger instead of love. Those who refuse boundaries set. Those who have no problem destroying your day as long as they got what they needed from you first.  Those who see fault in everyone except themselves. Those who feel they deserve to be treated with gentleness but issue painful words or actions to obtain it. Those who guilt you into spending time with them but lower your self esteem in the process. Those who claim to love you but love themselves more. Those who leave you emotionally exhausted ,angry and confused after spending time together. Those who lead you to believe they are in need of rescuing but refuse any help offered. Those who are out of control who try controlling you,  to be in control of something. Those who take you away from responsibilities because they have a need that they believe holds greater importance at the moment. Those who make you question your values because of their narcissistic views. Those who refuse to be a team player but keep insisting you be on their team…

I can keep giving examples but if you can relate to any of this, then you may be dealing with a toxic person. Toxic people leave us feeling sickly, depressed, worn out, mistreated, fatigue, undervalued, unloved and questioning everything about ourselves.

All that upset can stop when we quit allowing toxic people access to our lives. Love them from a distance if you want but most importantly; don’t entertain their toxic behavior any longer.  Give yourself time to heal emotionally from the damage their poisonous words and actions held in your thinking. Remind yourself they will continue to harm you as long as you continue to allow them too. Stop allowing  them access to you…

Some of you question how to close off access when the toxic person in your life is a spouse, sibling, parent, family member, boss, co-worker or even one of your own children… Stop thinking you are obligated to listen or spend time together simply because you’re related or work closely together.  Closing off access, can also be a state of mind. This means be predetermined to take everything said or done to you straight to the Lord, instead of taking everything to heart.  In order to quit taking everything to heart you must not entertain anything they say or do in your thinking. Stop the toxic behavior from being allowed to roam freely in your mind. It’s not toxic people who are harming you; it is the thoughts you allow yourself to ponder on that are harming you…  Philippians 4:8 should be the only things your mind is allowed to think on.

Blessings,

Robin Worgull