Month: December 2017
Too many of us are taking the words or actions of others around us, personally… So much so, that it is becoming an effort to face them or deal with them due to how much hurt or anger is carried towards them. (I’m watching relationships crumble in many people’s lives right now… The enemy (devil) is cleverly succeeding at destroying family, friends and people’s self worth on an astronomically huge scale right now and God’s people are falling for deceit thrown at them.) Those of you who have sought wisdom on the outside by people not involved, may have heard “you don’t need that upset, just be done.” How do you be done with your spouse, your grown children, your parents, siblings, friends, boss and co-workers? ( Those are all the people in your inner circle and closest to you.)
Set boundaries? I understand setting boundaries are necessary in order to maintain healthy relationships. Unfortunately, not everyone respects boundaries. Not everyone will respect your wishes on how you live your life either. People are quick to judge and throw in their own ideas that they believe are better for you. In today’s fast paced world we are finding more and more people are easily offended, angry, hurt, disappointed, or feel rejected if you are not considering doing things their way… With that being said, do you keep the peace with them but lose your peace by doing what they suggest?
I tend to lean on the belief these people hold an entitled demeanor. This means, the words spoken by them may sound like: “I expect, I deserve, I want, I just think that, I, I ,I”. ( Entitled people tend to make everything about them whether it had anything to do with them or not.) Many people who hold an entitled mentality often make the mistake of thinking something that should be a privilege is their right. This can cause them to be angered when they don’t get their way. Many times they push their problems onto others because they refuse to accept their problems carried are caused by their own doing. They sit in denial and take on a victim mentality all the while pushing blame on others as to why their life turned out the way it did. It saddens me to the core because these people are not happy individuals… Some of them hold the biggest heart but lack the ability to see how they have treated others unfairly because they are consumed with how unfair they were treated… They use anger to dominate relationships with others. Anger tends to empower them by how it has those responding to the anger issued…Meaning, it weakens those around them and creates a feeling of strength and control in the one holding anger. Unfortunately, their anger can have those around them feeling guilty for something they are unaware they did.
Guilt is one of those emotions that can drop a strong person to their knees. Meaning, guilt can create the feeling that we owe someone something or feel indebted, yet it also causes the strong to feel weak. Most of you who have ever held guilt know that guilt travels with his buddies. His buddies known as sorrow, anxiety, depression, fatigue, and loneliness. Yes, all the emotions that make a person feel powerless and defeated quicker than anything. Which leads me to addressing this issue in today’s post…
Reminder: In life, we will always have someone who refuses to be pleased. This means your love and kindness will not be enough to change their behavior towards you but don’t let their rejection stop you from offering to others who will appreciate it… You won’t get approval from someone who holds none to offer you. This means you have to be okay with yourself in God’s eyes and know you hold his approval if you are living for him and abiding by his Word… You will more than likely be blamed or accused as the reason for other people’s upset, whether you did or didn’t do something. It is quite difficult to change someone’s mind once it is made up. The Lord, warned us we would be persecuted for his name sake and many of us are falsely accused and treated as an outcast by people who are in our inner circle. I see it as the Lord reminding us we must be doing something right, due to how many attacks the enemy is sending through trusted people. When someone tries pushing their upset on you, remind yourself they are the original holder of that upset and you hold the ability to reject something unfairly being pushed onto you. Let them take responsibility for the upset they carry. They want you to own their pain because if you own it; then you just gave permission for them to own you… I am under God’s authority and ownership, not man’s… 1 John 4:4 ( Your strength comes from knowing who is for you and who is against you… Romans 8:31)