Some of you reading are surrounded by critical people. People who criticize and tear down the things you say and the things you do. These people tend to increase conflict instead of trying to resolve it. They are like a shadow that never leaves, always looking over your shoulder and finding something to criticize you over. These people are so use to criticizing that even when you are apart they still tear you down over things they believed happened long ago. It can feel like their mission in life is to make you feel worthless. (You may believe you are the only one they critical of, but that just isn’t the case. Most people who hold a critical spirit are critical in general.)
Critical people tend to hold negative thinking, do not manage their emotions well, and it is easier for them to see wrong in others instead of being able to see their part in wrong doing. They normally hold a black and white thought process which means all or nothing type mindset. There is no in between when it comes to right or wrong with them. They push their point of view while disregarding the views of others around them. Compromise is something they are unwilling to take part in.
In general critical people tend to hold emotional distress which often can cause outbursts of upset. Most of us see the outbursts as them being hot tempered or throwing a fit; but it is much more intense than just a tantrum being thrown. They regularly defend themselves and their behavior; while trying to get those around them to understand they are not at fault. (I pity the one in their path of fury.) They clearly can’t see how draining their behavior is on others. Every person in their path is impacted but not in a positive manner.
They simply can’t see their fault because they are so focused on the fault of others. For someone to not see the fault in themselves only causes their behavior to grow worse. They go as far as to look for people to agree with their point of view; in an attempt to get others to agree with them on why they blame someone else. In my opinion this is no different than a bully. It is like they are trying to get more people than just themselves to gang up against the one person they are upset at.
You need to understand that these critical people are like this because negative thoughts dominate their emotions. They are consumed with negativity. You will not win with a person like this; you simply will become their next target. The best thing you can do for yourself is not take their mean statements of criticism personal or their behavior on as your own. ( Many times we want to get back at someone who hurt us but to stoop to their level means we are trying to meet their standards. No, we don’t want to lower ourselves to meet their standards because meeting their standards means we win their approval. If you win their approval then you lowered your standards of rightness to a level of meanness to be accepted. This makes you just like them.)
Everyone can see how these people are except the people who are wearing blinders when it comes to themselves. If you were to point out how their words or actions hurt you or impacted decisions you made; they would disagree and resist the truth.
You can still show respectful behavior even though you lost respect for them. You still can show love even though they are unloving towards you. Never take responsibility for someone else’s actions; even if someone tries to push them on you. Exodus 14:14 Reminds us that the Lord will fight for us and we only have to be silent.
Sometimes silence speaks much louder than words…
Published Author of The Conflict Within and The Right- Minded Woman