One reader left a comment that they were unclear on how to undo stress and negativity that runs so deep it is in this person’s earliest memories. The reader does not know how to get rid of it and now it is manifesting in their health. ( This is a common problem I hear routinely, so I would like to address this topic and discuss it further today.)
To those of you who can relate to this comment, it may be because you too feel this way or did at some point in your life. In order to rid ourselves of something we have carried long term; we must call the truth of the situation… To hold negativity and stress in your earliest memories, more than likely indicates as a young child you were exposed to those around you who may have been struggling with depression, health issues, dark thoughts or even dark behavior. As a child we don’t always understand what our young eyes see but we develop coping skills to endure a difficult situation that is brought to us by others. This is not to say that someone intentionally brought upset to us, it just means a child is exposed to the environment they are brought up in. If the adults raising the child endured struggles, then the child may have learned the coping skills of the parents. We all have heard the term “learned behavior”. Now, if the parents did not hold healthy coping skills, the child still picks up the coping skills used because it is all they know due to the exposure of the environment they lived in. The child may begin trying to help the parents in the only way a child’s mind knows how; which is to be quiet or be good as to avoid further upset. They may go to the extreme and begin trying to care for the family until the parents are able to take over again. This means they may help with the siblings, housework, meals, care giving or even odd jobs to bring extra money in to help. One big problem a child tends to find themselves in; is the love and help they gave is not enough to make the parents situation any better. Yes it helped for a time but not long term as the child hoped for. This can cause a child to begin internalizing what their young eyes are witnessing. This means they may begin feeling symptoms of what they are exposed too. Once the child reaches the teen years, they are now dealing with hormones which can intensify their struggle that much further. Not learning healthy coping skills can have them repeating learned behavior. Many children have tried to fake bravery but on the inside they felt broken. In their young thinking they may think “someone needs to be strong it might as well be me.” Let me remind everyone that even the strongest person holds weak moments. Now, if a child carried learned behavior into the teen years; most likely if they didn’t get help they will carry it into their adult years and even possibly expose their own children to learned behavior.
When children feel broken at a young age they unknowingly seek love, acceptance or approval from others in unhealthy fashions. They may partake in activity that their parents taught was wrong; but the need to feel whole is so strong they partake out of survival in their thinking. This will eventually catch up with them in adulthood but not in a healthy way. By adulthood they may hold regret, guilt, emotional distress, depression, anxiety, fears and be reaching their lowest point by what all these emotions did to completely stress their mind and body. They may feel empty. When the struggles of the mind begin manifesting in the body as health problems the person can feel hopeless…( Stress is known as the silent killer because stress releases hormones in the body to prepare us for fight or flight. Too much of a hormone called cortisol can cause serious damage. We don’t have time to get into this but stress is dangerous.)
If you are a believer, meaning if you have accepted Christ as your personal savior; then getting rid of stress and negativity will be easier for you, than say someone who isn’t a believer; because you can claim the scriptures left for us.
2 Timothy 1:7 Reminds us we were not given the spirit of fear but given power, love and a sound mind. (What you can do if you feel fearful or depression ; claim the scripture out loud and make it known you weren’t given the spirit of fear; and we were promised a sound mind. Then refuse to entertain thoughts of fear or upset. This requires you to hold discipline in your thoughts . In other words you must make a conscious effort.)
1 John 4:4 Reminds us that he who is in us is greater than he who is in the world ( Who better to fight a spiritual problem than the Lord? See, most of our struggles are a spiritual problem felt in the physical realm we live in. You can claim this truth left for us and know all you have to do is stand in faith while the Lord handles the spiritual warfare coming at you. )
Psalms 56:4 Reminds us to not fear what flesh can do to us. (If you are being mistreated or involved with critical people; you can claim this scripture and remember that there is nothing these people can do to you that the Lord didn’t know about beforehand and he’s already sprung into action on your behalf. Stand in faith and don’t waiver. He’s got this which means you don’t have to try to figure it out.)
2 Corinthians 10:5 Reminds us to hold our thoughts captive . ( this scripture is our reminder to hold our thoughts suspect until we know if those thoughts are of the Lord or sent from the enemy who uses our emotional distress as his ultimate entertainment. )
Proverbs 3:5 Reminds us to lean on God not our own understanding. ( My friends, sometimes it was our own understanding that got us in trouble in the first place…)
Ephesians 6:11-18 Reminds us to put on the whole armor of God. (I love this set of scriptures because there is a spiritual battle going on that our eyes can’t see. The battle is between the Lord and the devil fighting for control over you and I. You can’t fight a spiritual battle in fleshly clothing. The battle is in the unseen realm but felt in the physical realm we all live in. This means we must place on the spiritual clothing in order to divert the arrows of upset aimed straight at us.)
I close this post today with some reminders… History does not have to repeat itself. We can learn from it and be predetermined to not repeat unhealthy patterns. The learned behavior does not have to be forgotten but it also does not need to be continued. We can be predetermined to walk away from negative people for a time in order to strengthen. We can claim the scriptures left for each of us each time we lose focus or find ourselves repeating learned behavior. We have the right to accept or reject what is offered. If someone wants to offer you upset you can reject it by setting up healthy boundaries and not accepting blame for something that is not your fault. The Lord holds the power to break the chains of pain and upset that some of you are bound in… Allow yourself to live the abundant life we all were promised in John 10:10. Quit feeling guilty for not being able to change things as a child; because a child is not equipped to carry or even maintain that high of an unfair expectation. Each time you find yourself visiting the past, remind yourself that the past will always prevent you from enjoying the present. This means be predetermined to not be tormented any longer by something you held no control over. In order to do this you must surrender your past and all the scary, painful, hurtful times that came with it, over to the Lord… You don’t want to make the mistake of trying to pick it back up because that turns into a game of tug-o-war with God. It did you no good to carry it as a child and it will bring no good to carry it as an adult… Allow yourself to finally be free from pain, hurt, confusion and the stress that negativity has brought you your entire life. You don’t have to carry what was never yours in the first place…