Sometimes It’s about them, not you:

I’m not one to air my personal business, but I hope my story helps someone’s struggle today and they walk away encouraged.

The past seven months my regular routine has been turned every which way but right side up. Everything is upside down and then spun in every direction. My equilibrium has yet to reset… Tears stream down my face daily as frustration and exhaustion have become my shadow. I can’t escape pain as I have it both emotionally and physically. I’m hypersensitive to people’s hurtful words and opinions. I don’t know how I haven’t clawed some people’s tongues out over words spoken to me. If looks really did kill, I’d be guilty of murder right now…

Yet I choose to respond with love, gentleness, and discipline of my tongue, as to not project my pain onto someone else. What I am going through is my portion in life at this moment in time. What others say or do is none of my business, so I don’t dwell on it or concern myself with what they think… I also don’t share my business with anyone. The way I see it, is if you know what’s going on then you were intended to know, but if you know nothing I prefer to keep you out of my business because you don’t deserve to know it. In other words, I don’t value the views some people hold of me , so why would I confide in them my struggles just to hear negative feedback? What I do instead is I take my hurt to the only one who can heal my broken heart and soothe my weary soul… I don’t take my hurt to just anyone willing to listen because they can’t touch the deepness of my heart the way God can. I need my heart healed and my soul needs a friend to get through what I’m about to share with you…

Seven months ago during my 26 year wedding anniversary week, my husband had a heart attack. I can’t express how horrible it was to watch my best friend of 34 years laying in bed, staring death down in a battle he could have lost. A couple weeks later after him being home and us adjusting to a new way of living, one of my children walked out the door without saying goodbye because of hurtful words that came out of my mouth. My words were meant to correct behavior but my delivery method was wrong and out of line. I was too harsh at a time that gentleness was needed most. While trying to cope with my husband’s health, digesting my child moving out and trying to care for my other children and the home, my youngest child who had been in remission from cancer for 4 years , relapsed… Cancer came back so aggressively that there was no time to waste and treatment started immediately but in a town 90 minutes from home in a new state I have yet to learn. I went from 0-60 in no time flat. If all this wasn’t enough to send my head spinning, the devil decided to send in another traumatic event to the mess we were already dealing with. That event was me being hospitalized and an oncologist looking at my labs for cancer. He didn’t find any but he did find a serious auto immune disease… I shared all this with you hoping someone can relate to what I’m about to say…

If I were looking at everything that was happening to my family through carnal or worldly eyes, then all of this would be about me and what I was going through. I could play the victim card and be angry towards undeserving people. I could throw tantrums to get attention and receive sympathy in areas that would cause me to not take responsibility for my actions. Yet, I choose to look at what has happened through eyes of discernment… Discernment tells me the truth of the situation , which is, this was never about me or my family. This is something our family is going through to place us in areas no one wants to be in; in order to have a divine meeting with someone that only our family can reach for God’s will to be accomplished…

We don’t know who the person is that we we’re meant to meet but that doesn’t change the fact that God allowed this suffering because whoever that person is, God will press a message on our hearts to share with them at an exact moment that was predestined. We are simply a connecting link to a chain of events God already devised. He placed us in 3 different hospitals over a seven month period meeting hundreds of people. Out of all those people, someone was meant to encounter a meeting with us and walk away with a message that only they would know what to do with, that could only come from our family.

I don’t know if we completed the assignment or who the person is, but I’m confident our faith, words spoken, love shown and commitment to God has left a lasting impression on many people. The devil worked hard at trying to make us lose footing along the way and even threw in division in hopes of thwarting God’s plan from happening…

Isaiah 43:18-18 helped me through this hardship. It reminds us that we are to not think or concern ourselves of the former things because they are nothing compared to what God is about to do. With that being said, I sure wish I could see the impact our family will make for God’s Kingdom, by reaching this person God sent our way through a time of extreme suffering… We may never know and yet we continue the journey ahead of us with faith in each step because sometimes it’s about others, not us.


Robin Worgull

Author of The Conflict Within and The Right-Minded Woman

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Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled #2 Waiting for the wound to heal:

Each of us hold hidden wounds. Some of us can talk about them but most of us keep them pushed down. The problem with pushing them down is that they resurface. Once they surface we unknowingly wound underserving people around us with our words or behavior.

Those who hold emotional wounds tend to come from an upbringing that lacked affection. So as they get older they attach themselves to others seeking to heal. They seek approval in numerous ways. It may be through the job they hold or by the love they offer. Did you catch that? They are offering love but grew up in a home lacking affection. How do they offer something they never learned?

They hold an illusion in their thinking of what love is and act upon it. This is where their emotional wounds received as a child now influence the love they offer as an adult. Not being taught what love is, they tend to fabricate an ideology of what they think love is and what it should be, by piecing together times they felt loved. Normally it was moments of praise or affirmation by a trusted individual outside of the family. They learned early on to attribute praise as affection. This was carried into relationships as they grew older. So to be praised meant love and affection but without constant praise they questioned why they weren’t lovable.

In order to feel loved all the time instead of sometimes, they began pursuing differently. Some became controlling in an attempt to avoid pain. Along with controlling they began demanding affection. Usually they would become extremely affectionate in hopes of the affection being returned back to them, the way they offered it. When it wasn’t returned in the same manner, this made them feel rejected, which deepened the wound they already carried. Some were known to resort to begging for attention but in the process they were ignoring their own needs in order to better meet the needs of the one they sought love from. It is a destructive cycle for one to find themselves in as sometimes they believe obstacles must be overcome in order to be loved.

Subconsciously they expect to be abandoned or hurt by those they love and are constantly looking for the signs. You know, the motives or hidden agendas behind everything the person does. They do this so they aren’t caught off guard, yet fail to realize the wound that needs healing started long before the relationship they are in. Unfortunately they issue blame onto their partner for not loving them as they should be loved. If they aren’t being praised they interpret it as they aren’t good enough, then turn around and resent the person because nothing they do is good enough to please the one they love most. They then begin seeking praise outside of the relationship in order to feel self worth. These old wounds keep reopening each time the person feels rejected.

If today’s read applies to you, keep in mind we all love differently. To expect love returned to you the same way you offered it is an unfair expectation to place on someone. Not all of us speak the same love language. Some use words, others use touch, gifts or acts of service.

You are loved and valuable whether you feel it or not. Sometimes we become hyper sensitive to something that was nothing. Whether it was said or done to us , we will interpret differently depending on what we feel at the moment, the circumstance we find ourselves in, or the unmet needs we carry.

Your wound will begin healing when you don’t allow what you feel to become your logic. Your feelings can have you thinking you must convince others of your love, when in reality you are simply trying to convince yourself that you are loveable. Those around you already know, that’s why they stick around. Accept the love you are being offered without expecting it to be shown the way you show it…

Let not your heart be troubled.


Robin Worgull

Let Not Your Hearts Be Troubled Series#1

I get it. We are all watching the departure of God’s standards in a Nation founded on God’s principles. Many people are eating off the bread of lawlessness, hatefulness, offensiveness, rebellion, self righteousness and apostasy. Their appetite is only increasing in these areas rather than feeling satisfied. They feast on wickedness, envy, murder, debate, deceit and maliciousness. They are widely known as back biters, proud, boasters, haters of God, evil doers, covenant breakers, unmerciful, and all the while are disobedient to parents, and lack natural affection. The sad part is they take pleasure in what they are doing.

We are witnessing such lawlessness that most of us never thought we would see in our lifetime but have heard about for most of our lives.

Welcome to the last days! We are watching prophecy unfold right before our eyes. Everything we see on the news or media outlets are us witnessing people playing right into the hand the devil himself dealt. He has not only deceived our government  but the hearts of people who once believed in a higher power than themselves. Now lawlessness is accepted by the very people who put law into place. Evil is seen as good and good is seen as evil. We have so much wrong going on but being seen as right. People are revolting and making stands by removing history and trying to rewrite a new chapter.  A new chapter that is full of lies to cover any truths we may have left. We have innocent people being  killed on the streets, businesses being destroyed but not until all products are stolen first. Rebellion against those in authority positions, babies being murdered daily. We are guilty as a Nation of slaughtering our own children on the very soil that was founded on God. We as a Nation have placed a higher value on Satanic ideology than on our own creator.

No wonder so many people are walking around in disbelief, reaching for anxiety or depression medicine and bottles of alcohol to help calm them down.  Yet, that’s not even enough to slow down the suicides happening at alarming rates due to people not able to cope with the stress of the times we live in or the fact they can’t go back to work and provide for their families. They are losing everything they worked hard for. We have been placed on lock down, told to keep distance, not allowed to enter church which by the way, most people get comfort, encouragement and help during hardships from. Our freedoms are being removed one by one and all the while evil is being recognized as good.

Now is the time believers should be the most excited! This is the time we should be reaching out to the hopeless. God didn’t leave us without answers. We are the ones who hold the answers to all the issues unfolding right before us. God gave us the key to understanding so we could understand the Bible. Not everyone has that understanding as it wasn’t meant for the unbelievers. We were left signs to look for and instructions to follow.  The Bible made it abundantly clear that when Israel becomes a Nation that this generation would not pass until all these things be fulfilled. What things you ask?  ( Grab your Bible and look up these scriptures… Mathew 24:12,  Mathew 24:6-8, Mathew  24:34,  Isaiah 5:20, Romans 1:24-27, 2 Timothy 3:1-7, 2 Thessalonians 2:3, Luke 21:31)  By the way after you read the things in these scriptures you also should know Israel became a Nation May 14, 1948.  All of what is taking place in the world around us is not a surprise to some people, as some of us have been watching for the signs to unfold and now that they are, we are so excited.  God left us a reminder that His word would not return to Him void but would accomplish His will. This scripture can be read in Isaiah 55:11.

We have nothing to fear with what is unfolding before us. God protects His own and left His Word as not only instructions but comfort during the times we would encounter. Now on the flip side if you don’t know the Lord as your personal savior, I encourage you to do so, as your window of opportunity is quickly closing. Romans 10:9  is your scripture you need to know in order to call upon the Lord and be saved from the judgement that is coming on this world. For the rest of us who already know the Lord as our personal savior, then let not your hearts be troubled…


Robin Worgull

Reminder To Each Of You Brides:

Marriage season is upon us. Some of you reading are already married while others are about to take steps down the aisle. I encourage each of you reading to remember where you came from as we don’t always know where we will end up. We can make the best of plans but when life happens sometimes we find detours to our plans. Experience has taught me to remember where I came from so I appreciate where God leads me.

Some of you grew up in abusive or broken homes. This is not something anyone wants to remember but your experience can help others as you make your way through life’s journey. You hold the choice of offering what was offered  to you as a child to someone undeserving or offering how you overcame what you experienced to someone struggling with the same struggle. Not everything said or done to us throughout life was fair but we have no right passing our hurt onto others.

When we go into marriage, some of us carry baggage from our past. Depending on what that baggage holds will determine what we can offer our spouse. We can only offer what we hold to give. If we are holding pain and sorrow then unknowingly that is what we will offer and unfortunately  it won’t be interpreted as loving.

People who carry doubts and fears into a marriage will struggle with building communication. While trying to express themselves they may unknowingly be pointing the finger of blame instead of getting their point across in a constructive manner. To the one listening it can feel as if they can do nothing right and are always in the wrong. This is not to say that’s what the person wanted interpreted, but our words are interpreted the way we feel at the moment. This means, if we feel attacked we react defensively. If we feel loved and accepted we tend to pour our heart out without fear of rejection.  In marriage your words must be chosen wisely because sometimes our words take us in the wrong direction , when we think we are on the right road.

We need to be on the road to love at all times.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 reminds us that love is kind, long suffering, it doesn’t envy or boast. It  isn’t rude, self seeking or easily angered. It keeps no record of wrong doings. It delights in truth but never in evil. It protects, trusts, hopes , preserves and never fails.

Don’t be deceived thinking love is simply a feeling. Love is a commitment. It is hard to commit to someone and offer the love described above when our focus is solely on ourselves and what we feel at the moment. Emotions should never be used as your logic because emotions come and go quickly.  Usually it is  something hurtful from our past that triggers them.

If you can  remember who you are during each moment of marriage, then you can better respond to each situation you encounter. For those of you  who know Christ as your personal savior then Romans 8:15 is who you are regardless of where or what you came from.  “For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry , Abba, Father.”      (This means the Holy Spirit places the believer as a child in God’s family. You just became an heir of the Royal family. You are a child of God and heir to all He holds.)

You no longer get to wallow in self- pity over how your life was or what was done to you because now it is your duty to conduct yourself as part of the Royal family.  To represent your Father to a broken world that has lost hope. You need to tell them who  your Father is and how he took you out of bondage and made you an heir to all he holds. Remember, this world is not your home. You belong to the Kingdom of God in Heavenly places. We are simply temporary residents just passing through. 1 Chronicles 29:15.

So as you take those steps down the aisle,  remember your tiara and where it came from. So that  you conduct  yourself with kindness before making the commitment to someone standing in front of you, who also is just passing through. Pass through together, united and predetermined to live for God and not for yourselves. That is the secret to a long and happy marriage.


Robin Worgull